I know this can be a very sensitive subject for some people, so I would ask that you keep comments respectful please!
When I was pregnant with Maxson, I had planned a natural home birth. After an extremely long day of labour and struggling without much if any progress, we decided it was time to go to the hospital. The plan was to use a vacuum assisted delivery to help progress and then naturally deliver from there. Once we arrived at the hospital it became apparent that that wasn’t going to happen. Maxson’s heart rate started decelerating and I ended up with an emergency c-section. In that moment I was devastated. That was the last thing I wanted, and I wasn’t prepared for it in the least. However that c-section allowed both my baby and I to make it through the birthing process healthy. The healing period was rough for me, but Maxson was healthy and strong (his head a little swollen and bruised, but no adverse side effects) and I got through it.
Mentally having the scar and the “double muffin top” was very difficult for me. Being a model, it was hard to see that angry red line. It felt like it was mocking me. But it did eventually fade to a small flesh coloured line that is hardly noticeable and “double muffin top” eventually went away too. In time I began to embrace my scar (and even stopped photoshopping it out of my pictures) I thought about how because of that scar both my baby and I were healthy and unharmed. I thought about how if Maxson ever found out that I was embarrassed by my scar it could hurt his self esteem, and I thought about how much of a badass we all were for getting through it all.
Skip ahead 2 years and I am now pregnant with my second. It’s been an agonizing debate in my head whether to try for a VBAC or just schedule a c-section. As much I would still love that natural home birth, it just doesn’t seem feasible for me. I would feel safer in a hospital in the event that something were to go wrong. I then started thinking – what if the same thing happens again? What if this baby also gets stuck? Do I really want to go through labour just to end up having a c-section again? What if I end up with a uterine rupture? All these questions bouncing through my head and talking about my options only made me more panicked and undecided on what to do.
I had a consultation with an OB/surgeon about VBAC vs. C-Section about a week ago. He told me that he sees no reason not to try VBAC. He also said since Maxson had gotten stuck, there’s about a 40% chance of that happening again with this baby. When it comes to your body and health 40% seems awfully high. I obviously want the shortest healing time seeing as I have a 2 year old who needs a lot of “Momma attention” and I know that a successful VBAC has the shortest healing time. However if I try for a VBAC and end up having a c-section that will be the longest healing time. So after much deliberation both in my mind and with my husband I’ve finally decided to go for the c-section. And honestly since I have made that decision, I’ve felt calm and at peace.